g is for guests

g is for guests

i did a little unscientific “research” yesterday via my facebook fan page and twitter feed to see what people thought “g” would be for. it took nearly 2 dozens guesses before the correct answer “guests” was answered. this proved my point for this particular blog post: guests are often forgotten during your planning process. yes, yes – it’s YOUR wedding. but how much of your budget is being spent directly on the people you’re barely thinking of for the several months of planning? stop and think about what your crowd will be like, who they are, what they will want and definitely NOT want.

a few guest considerations
yes some of these may be obvious, but have you really given it thought?

save the dates: YES! i know that all you’ve been thinking about is your wedding day. you know exactly how many days to go and every last detail. your guests’ lives don’t revolve around your wedding, though. give them ample time to plan, especially if they’ll need to hire a baby sitter, book flights and/or reserve a hotel room. if you have a lot of out of town guests or are getting married on a holiday weekend, definitely send out save the dates with the weekend events and include hotel block information!
invitations: give time. -  give your guests at least 4 weeks to send back your rsvp if you can. they might not know immediately when they open your invitation if they can come or not. they might need a week or two to secure that babysitter, cancel other plans or see if they have the funds to travel and stay over. include hotel information if you haven’t already. at least include specific addresses to all of the venues if you’re not including a map. do not include registry information!
who’s driving? they are. -  if you’re deciding between two reception venues, think about guests getting there. is one venue closer to where a bulk of your guests are coming from? and don’t forget if you’re having a summer wedding, you’re bound to hit construction in northeast ohio. is the parking better at one? or maybe less expensive? or is valet an option? or, are you deciding between a venue inside a hotel and a venue miles away from where your hotel block will be? guests will love the option to not have to drive after your reception and just wander up to their rooms.
big breaks: avoid them. –  many churches require that you have your ceremony between noon and 2 pm, but if you can avoid it: DO! you know your guests hate that long break in between. your out of town guests likely won’t know where to go or what to do. if you’re concerned that having a late ceremony will mean less time for pictures between your ceremony and reception, consider a “first look” with your photographer to get bridal party and family formals out of the way BEFORE the wedding.
cocktail hour: limit it!  if you can budget for it, serve hearty hors d’oeuvres to your guests during cocktail hour, they’ve likely skipped lunch because they were getting ready and rushing to your ceremony. that and – keep it under an hour. longer than that means more drinks on an empty or mostly empty stomach. help your guests pace themselves!
taking shots: NO! i’ve heard one too many stories about guests getting wasted by 10 pm because shots were allowed. men especially like to get the shots started and instigate other guests to take them. think about your lightweight friends who are persuaded easily… if you say “no shots” then no one has to be peer pressured into getting  hammered long before they should. and you paid good money for your music, you’ll want your guests to not only enjoy it, but remember most of it! by the way: skip the martini loge too. martinis go down far too easily and far too fast. the same no-guests-drunk-before-10pm advice applies.
assigned seating: YES!  in the same sense that you forget to think about your guests’ wants and needs while planning, you’ve also put of assigning seating until the last minute, haven’t you? don’t skip it because you’re running out of time and patience. it will make sitting down for dinner less chaotic and middle-school-cafeteria like. if it’s assigned, your friends won’t have to play favorites.  i’ll never forget the wedding i attended where there wasn’t assigned seating and ALL of our friends got tables together and we got stuck on the other side of the room with bride’s great aunts.
guest book: within reason. – we’ve all seen the the photo frame mats for guests to sign. you might have seen make a wish take a wish jars or scrap books or photo guest books or a dozen of other really creative and fun ways to get your guests to leave you a note. but try not to do more than two of these options. your guests will want to enjoy a cocktail and each other’s company, not think up 4 different ways to say “best wishes” on your little assignments you’ve set up around the room.
dinner: choices. –  give at least two options and make sure your guests know about your vegetarian option. if they don’t, they  might not want to pipe up during the meal service and will only have some of that green beans almondine for dinner.
music: mainstream. –  so you like this really great independent band out of wichita and have seen them 32 times in concert. of course you want your dj to play at least 12 of their songs. but are any of them danceable? stop, think. what will your guests like? incorporate your favorite band’s music during dinner or announcement songs and leave the dance music choices up to your trained professional. and yes, guests hate the chicken dance and electric slide, too, you don’t have to play them.
transportation: yes, please! if you can budget a shuttle for guests, they’ll love you for it andwill be more willing to stay longer at your wedding. it’s a no brainer – especially if it’s complimentary from your hotel block!
nice touches: noticed – your guests will not only notice but love any special touches you do for their convenience and pleasure. if you have the budget, take the time to put together welcome bags, bathroom baskets, flip flop baskets for dancing – or that ceremony in the grass, bar menus to make the selection easier, mini maps to the reception to hand out after the ceremony – the sky’s the limit. stop obsessing about what shoes you’re going to wear and think about how to make your guests’ time at your wedding special and memorable. that’s not to say you have to do everything to IMPRESS them, just let them know you thought of them.
thank you cards: ABSOLUTELY! your guests went out of their way to dress up and attend your wedding and bring a gift. it’s the LEAST you can do to HAND write a thank you card within the time it takes for the blisters they got on their feet from dancing at your reception to heal. that means LESS than 2 months. they WILL think about it… especially if you skipped thank you cards and the next thing they get in the mail from you is a baby shower invitation. just sayin’.

there are probably a dozen more tips i could include but my main suggestion is: while you’re planning, stop every once in a while, look at what you’re planning and think about the experience your guests will have. you want to make it easy to enjoy the celebration of your marriage!

what special touches have you planned for your guests?

previous posts:
a is for art museums
b is for blogs
c is for cleveland
d is for details
e is for emails
f is for facebook